Dear 16yr old me,
Well, what can I say?
You seem to be doing well in life which is great news because it can be really hard when you don’t have anyone that you can look up to. At least you have a great bunch of friends with you – I can tell they are your best friends because when you are 25 you are still in contact with them. You won’t always together like how you are now as people drift apart as they get older all the time but you can be sure that they are still your “besties”.
main concern problem in your life at the moment would be that guy you call your “boyfriend”… He’s not a true boyfriend. You are not going to believe it but you two are not destined to be together. He emotionally blackmails you and talks to you in a really cold way and that alone shouldn’t be tolerated. I know you stay awake some nights crying, wondering what it is that you have done wrong or wonder why you are not ‘good enough’ for him but never ever let a guy make you feel like that.
You fell for his looks which is understandable but trust me, he is just all superficial, there are no deeper layers to him and if you look hard enough, you would know that he doesn’t love you and you are just wasting your time. Don’t worry though, you do open your eyes eventually, two years down the line, when you find out he has been cheating (which you’ve always suspected).
Seven months after your last relationship, you start college and you meet someone new. He is much more genuine than your last one; you know it and you can feel it too. That bond you’ll share is not a mistake because seven years after that, you will have your first child together. However, because of your insecurities from your past experiences with love, you kind of push him away and he ends up having an online affair which you won’t be able to fully forgive him for. This is because part of you feels like, this time, you did actually cause it but then the other part of you wonders why he wasn’t “man enough” to stand up to you and tell you he was feeling like you were pushing him away and why you couldn’t both just communicate?
I still don’t have all the answers for you yet because I’m also on a learning curve – especially now with a baby involved it’s a little trickier but that is life! However there is one lesson in life I can teach you right now and that is to not take any BS from men who don’t/can’t/won’t treat you right. Cut your losses and leave them before they (emotionally) drains you dry.
Your 25 year old self